The Killer Spirit Called Entitlement

By Jarlath Opara

This morning, during morning Mass in one of the parishes close to my Estate a strange thing happened. About 30 congregants were seated, waiting for the commencement of the Mass, none among the whole lot could intone an entrance song.

Standing, with tongues tied to the palate, eyes looking around for those who have been initiating songs, sadly none of them was around.

We all moped, lost in thought as the priest processed in deep silence without an entrance song.

These were Catholics of many years, who habitually have been attending both daily and Sunday Masses, singing songs but none had the courage to intone a song this morning.

Was it about courage, something they are not used to ? Or lack of attention to details, not knowing it or sense of entitlement that someone else should do it? It could be any of the options but for the purposes of this piece I would hang it on the latter, which is sense of entitlement.

It kills and it can make one look stupid in a situation one would have managed well without disgraceful feeling.

Many Catholics hadly pay attention to the rudiments of Mass. They reel them out so mechanically in unity with the choir without internalising or owing such lines. I have seen many recite either the creed or other prayers during liturgical activities, so well as they flow with the prompting of the congregation. Engage such persons one on one, such lines disappear like vapour.

For the sake of clarity, sense of entitlement is defined as a sense of deservingness or being owed a favor when little or nothing has been done to deserve special treatment. It’s the “you owe me” attitude. Entitlement is a narcissistic personality trait so to speak.

What happened this morning was so to speak a milder case study of entitlement spirit. Guess what, all eyes were looking towards the very places those that help intone songs usually sit. On many faces one could read a simple emotional reaction of “why didn’t they come or why wouldn’t somebody just entone a song”?.

The worst hit was when it was time for offertory, instead of the offertory song, an entrance song was rather intoned. We have been so entitled to the point of losing that touch of detailed familiarisation of what comes after what and what comes before what during our liturgical celebration.

Sad to say that 80% of Catholics are skin deep in doctrines and dogma, peripheral in liturgical sequences and shallow in catechesis. We come around, reel out along side with those we feel should do it, but are lost in thought and delusioned when faced with such, one on one.

We can recite the creed and gloria etc with mastery with the aid of the congregational choir, so sweet a melody but get lost when in private, all by ourselves trying to recite such.

It takes a detailed attention and memorization on the responses during Mass for one to recite them unaided. We come to Mass with the mind set that they will do it. It will be taken care of. It would be sorted out by them. The pareto principles states that for many outcomes, roughly 80% of consequences come from 20% of causes. In other words, a small percentage of causes have an outsized effect. This is the reality of life.

The liturgical flow of our Masses is made possible and seamless by less 20% of the congregants. The remaining percentage are just there floating where the current flows,

At all cost get off from this mentality of self entitlement. Nobody owes you nothing. Nobody is indebted to anybody. Nobody should see anybody as meant and designed to play a particular role. We are all meant to compliment each other, appreciate others for whatever roles they play around us, appreciate them for their goodwill and be ready to step into such responsibilities or roles without much ado in moments of gaps and disruption without feeling bad or angry against anybody for not being there to close up the gap of need, either spiritual, material, emotional or otherwise.

Alone we came, alone we return someday. Our lack is ours, our challenges and battles ours too. Face it the best way you can, if help comes, glory, if it doesn’t, even when you ask, never feel bad , for nobody owes you anything on entitlement basis outside compassion,charity and empathy.

Sense of entitlement is a killer. A joy extinguisher when denied, stiring up emotion so delusional, when expectations are cut short.

Jarlath Uche Opara Jarlathuche@gmail.com