Bended knees: The Best Marriage Strategy part 2

I didn’t plan to serialise it, just a one off reflection I intended to do, boom! I started receiving in-box messages on how the piece deeply resonated with them. Some suggested I dig deeper beyond bended knees, to perhaps find other ways failing and fraying marriages can be remedied.

The truth is, there is no other ways. The only way is through bended knees, however, as one bends ones knees in War Room, eyes would be opened, heart convinced and broken on what to do differently for a blissful and blossoming marriage.

Years back, a friend introduced me to Alex Kendrick films one which was War Room which I referenced in my last piece.

After watching it and the impact it made in me I searched for other of his films.

What is it all about?

“Fireproof” is a 2008 film directed by Alex Kendrick and starring Kirk Cameron. The movie follows the story of a firefighter named Caleb Holt who was facing marital problems. Caleb and his wife Catherine are on the brink of divorce due to their constant arguments and lack of communication.

In an attempt to save their marriage, Caleb’s father challenged him to commit to a 40-day experiment called “The Love Dare,” a book that presents daily challenges to help improve relationships. Through this process, Caleb learns about selflessness, forgiveness, and the importance of unconditional love.

As Caleb goes through the challenges of “The Love Dare” and begins to change his perspective, he starts to see positive changes in his marriage. The film portrays the struggles and triumphs of marriage, the power of love, forgiveness, and the impact of faith in restoring relationships.

“Fireproof” is a heartfelt and inspiring movie that emphasizes the value of commitment, communication, and faith in strengthening marriages and overcoming challenges.

This brings me to the main issue I would want to address, COMMUNICATION! I chose to write it in bold letters to emphasize its importance in marriage, it takes a bad communication strategy to ruine a marriage and haul it into pits of nagging, sore feelings, emotional alienation and uneventful sexual experiences.

Marriage isn’t perfect anyway. It is always work in progress and the extent one achieves this progress is determined by the level of communication between the couple. It is a gateway to unraveling many hidden things that could possibly be an obstacle towards the progression in understanding these two different persons of different orientation, background, etc who are united in marital vows.

Communication is one of the sources of oxygen that keep marriage breathing. Remove communication, the lifespan of any Marriage is shortlived. It struggles to survive, in a matter of time it turns pale for lack of oxygen.

Couples that communicate , are like a river that flows, always fresh, even the clogging of debris, dirts, pebbles, etc are easily sorted out by the flow of communication.

Caleb in Fireproof was at the verge of losing his marriage because of lack of communication. What effective communication does in marriage is to remove any shades of suspicion. It helps to play the cards on the table, creating avenues for couples to walk naked before each other unhindered.

Communication in marriage is the way partners talk, listen, and interact with each other to express their thoughts, feelings, and needs. It involves both verbal and nonverbal communication, such as body language and gestures.

Effective communication in marriage is essential for building trust, resolving conflicts, and maintaining a strong emotional connection between partners. It involves active listening, empathy, honesty, and open dialogue to ensure that both partners feel heard, understood, and valued in the relationship.

Good communication skills helps couples navigate challenges, strengthen their bond, and nurture a healthy and fulfilling marriage. This is the exact description of the testimony of Caleb and his wife Catherine.

Their marriage before was one of assumptions,bottling of emotions without expression. It became toxic and smelly, looking for an exit route for a fresh air became their desire, until his dad introduced to him communication strategy through Love Dare game, the saving grace or lifewire of their already muffled marriage.

Love Dare card is a little prompts or challenges designed to help couples strengthen their relationship and deepen their connection. They often include tasks or activities that encourage partners to show love, appreciation, and affection towards each other in different ways. It’s a fun and creative way to keep the spark alive in a relationship and to keep things exciting and fresh between partners.

Get your spouse to that point where every communication barrier is pulled down. A situation of seeing through each other’ mind at every point without restrictions. When nothing is hidden, nothing is suspected.

Understudy and understand your spouse love language and communicate it back with energy. Communication is key in marriage. Be deliberate! Be intentional and substitute it with nothing.

You might be the best, with the best of intentions, ideas, opinions and strategies. If you don’t communicate them to your spouse it becomes a case of a man in the dark filled with the choicest of food but lacks the vision to see it.

Many marriages have collapsed because of lack of effective communication for an issue simple communication would have solved.

Jarlath Uche Opara Jarlathuche@gmail.com